If there is one thing I hate, it's double standards. I know everyone has them, we are hypocrites by nature, and we constantly judge others for things that we often are guilty of ourselves.
However, after an argument with my brother, i was called a "disappointment" by my father who then said he was 'ashamed' of me, and what did my brother get? Nada, sweet fuck all, nothing. I would quite like to add that my brother is 6 years older than i am, and probably should know better.No, instead, the brunt of my fathers anger; which i would like to point out, is fearless, terrifying and hilarious all at once, was bolted in my direction. Of course, being a mature adult, i approached this in the appropriate manner, and laughed in his face, whilst asking if he thought i actually cared. Rude yes? Gratifying? Definitely.
Of course, I have the upmost respect for my parents. They are incredible individuals, who have brought instead of dragged, me up. They instilled high morals, politeness, courtesy and the importance of manners and appropriate grammar in both their children. ( I am highly aware that the conversation posted above is not high in manners. Ignore that please.) However, I think the reason they identify and sympathize more with my brother is the fact that they are closer in age to him. We live in the same house, belong to the same family and yet, most of the time my parents and i couldn't be further apart, strangers to each other despite sharing d.n.a.
I am still viewed as a child, constantly reprimanded for my behavior or lack of worry in expressing my opinion. This is because, in my opinion, they feel my behaviour, and how I am perceived by others is a reflection on their parenting, people judge them through how they see me. Of course, this was probably true when i was younger, but as an adult who is free to express herself, who makes her own choices, and speaks her mind, that is laughable. I am my own person, and not a mould of a family where i am the black sheep. By forcing myself to act in accordance for their happiness i am sacrificing my self respect.
In other words. Why should I live up to their standards and not even be commended for trying when they are so different from myself? The only person who's standards I should be encouraged to engage with , are the ones I set myself.
