I'm 23. I've recently landed my first teaching job. I'm currently obsessed with Gabrielle Aplin and Lewis Watson. I bake some mean raspberry and white chocolate muffins. The word 'beaver' never fails to make me laugh. I like boys I can't have. I've recently come to terms with having ginger hair. I procrastinate like a Queen and then panic when I have 4 hours to finish something I've had 6 weeks to do. Candy Crush and snapchat are my guilty pleasures. I try to read 'The Pact' by Jodie Picoult at least once a year. I have developed a 'work wardrobe' which makes me a little bit sick. I drink about 3 cups of green tea a day. Everytime I walk into urban outfitters I buy something. Every.Bloody.Time.
I'm scared of the future.
Sunday, 19 May 2013
Sunday, 5 May 2013
Salvation
Once upon a time there lived a man. He was not a celebrity, he was not well known to others outside of his circle, but he was good. He dedicated his life to helping others, he was a teacher, a role model and at times a substitute father to the boys who filled his classroom. A confidante, a leader and someone who children aspired to. He taught others to become the best versions of themselves possible and watched them grow with a love that burned bright. He had two children of his own, and ensured that they knew that they were loved everyday.
This story is about his relationship with his daughter.
She was a miracle, he was told he couldn't have any more children after beating cancer. She doted on him, she flew on his shoulders and felt like a giant. She ran to him when she first rode her bike, he clapped loudest at her school plays. He taught her to play chess, but never, ever let her win, he taught her to swim and called her his little mermaid. They were symbiotic, always in time with the other, and could communicate with the smallest of raised eyebrows. As she grew up, she drifted; convinced he was over protective, and selfishly she wished things were different, that he was different. She screamed, she hit, she swore, and yet in his unfailing state, he stayed, he remained and he told her she would understand.. She moaned about spending time with him, wanting to be with her friends and boyfriend instead, he let her go. The girl struggled, the pressure to be popular was more important than time spent in the arms of someone who would never let her down. He studied for exams with her, not worrying about the reports, assessments, or commitments he had and took her to sport matches at weekends, and when he was already exhausted he stood in the rain for 90 minutes to watch her run, and see her look the most alive she ever would. She was not appreciative, but she was everything. Her teenage years, were a mix of her wanting to grow up, and him not wanting to be left behind.
She left for university and she understood . He had done everything for her. He had worked everyday of his life, to give her what she had, to make her safe, to keep her. She moved back home, and explained she wanted to teach, she wanted to make children feel that they could achieve anything; something which even in his age, she saw in her father's eyes everyday. She understood, that he had loved her everyday, even when she was the worst version of herself. Qualities that people recognized in her, she had inherited from him. He had watched her grow and she was happy for people to exclaim at how similar they were. They were stubborn, and bad tempered but honest, loyal, trusting and did everything they could for others. Every single situation, every argument, every laugh was his doing, pointing her to a path which she would tread on in the quest to be better. Later, he was once again diagnosed with advanced cancer which had spread to his bones and her world collapsed. A man that had defied the odds before was trapped by a disease which was a dormant devil, waiting to strike when it would hit her hardest, when she realised how much she needed him. She fell from his shoulders ,no longer flying, but keeping him upright. He was tired, and scared, the girl was breaking and the roles reversed. Explaining he was going to fight, she struggled with normality. Everything had changed and so had she. A man that had always been her foundation needed her to lean against. They were not running scared, they were staying right where they were.Did this darkness have a purpose other than allowing them to see the stars, hoping for one that burned so furiously to transcend and defy the fate which seemed set?
So I'm trying.
He is my father.
He is my salvation.
This story is about his relationship with his daughter.
She was a miracle, he was told he couldn't have any more children after beating cancer. She doted on him, she flew on his shoulders and felt like a giant. She ran to him when she first rode her bike, he clapped loudest at her school plays. He taught her to play chess, but never, ever let her win, he taught her to swim and called her his little mermaid. They were symbiotic, always in time with the other, and could communicate with the smallest of raised eyebrows. As she grew up, she drifted; convinced he was over protective, and selfishly she wished things were different, that he was different. She screamed, she hit, she swore, and yet in his unfailing state, he stayed, he remained and he told her she would understand.. She moaned about spending time with him, wanting to be with her friends and boyfriend instead, he let her go. The girl struggled, the pressure to be popular was more important than time spent in the arms of someone who would never let her down. He studied for exams with her, not worrying about the reports, assessments, or commitments he had and took her to sport matches at weekends, and when he was already exhausted he stood in the rain for 90 minutes to watch her run, and see her look the most alive she ever would. She was not appreciative, but she was everything. Her teenage years, were a mix of her wanting to grow up, and him not wanting to be left behind.
She left for university and she understood . He had done everything for her. He had worked everyday of his life, to give her what she had, to make her safe, to keep her. She moved back home, and explained she wanted to teach, she wanted to make children feel that they could achieve anything; something which even in his age, she saw in her father's eyes everyday. She understood, that he had loved her everyday, even when she was the worst version of herself. Qualities that people recognized in her, she had inherited from him. He had watched her grow and she was happy for people to exclaim at how similar they were. They were stubborn, and bad tempered but honest, loyal, trusting and did everything they could for others. Every single situation, every argument, every laugh was his doing, pointing her to a path which she would tread on in the quest to be better. Later, he was once again diagnosed with advanced cancer which had spread to his bones and her world collapsed. A man that had defied the odds before was trapped by a disease which was a dormant devil, waiting to strike when it would hit her hardest, when she realised how much she needed him. She fell from his shoulders ,no longer flying, but keeping him upright. He was tired, and scared, the girl was breaking and the roles reversed. Explaining he was going to fight, she struggled with normality. Everything had changed and so had she. A man that had always been her foundation needed her to lean against. They were not running scared, they were staying right where they were.Did this darkness have a purpose other than allowing them to see the stars, hoping for one that burned so furiously to transcend and defy the fate which seemed set?
So I'm trying.
He is my father.
He is my salvation.
Saturday, 4 May 2013
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