We don't need no education

I recently left my job. I was on a one year contract to work as a teaching assistant and a learning support assistant to a 5 year old girl in year 1 in a school with a low socioeconomic status. I was told it would be hard, but i 'd had previous experience in schools, so arrogantly, i thought it would be a breeze. It wasnt, far far from it. It was however the best year of my life. So here is a list of things i learnt this year. Never underestimate your own patience, if you can withstand being bitten, punched in the face and being pinched frequently, you'll be okay. A child can make friends quicker than i can find the ice cream aisle n tescos, and they laugh, a lot. Be more likee them. They always say what they think, and arent ashamed to ask stupid questions. I was asked if i had turned into a robot because i had a leg brace on. They will never tire of hearing their favourtie book, and playing 'what's the time Mr Wolf ' will never get old. Always report suspicions, and go with your gut. If it doesnt feel right, it probably isnt. Mothers/fathers are ridiculously competitive, but get their child singing and you have them in tears. They never run out of energy, ever. They get excited about butterflies, ladybirds and woodlice. They are way more accepting of those with differences than adults and look after their peers in a way adults should examine and replicate. Their outlook on life s simple, eat, sleep, play, laugh. Photocopiers break ridiculously easy, run and hide from the office ladies when this happens. School dinners arent tha bad anymore. Check your pigeon hole regularly. Run an after school club, the impact it can have will suprise you. Trust them, they trust you. Things i learnt from working with an autistic child. Every small step is one more to progress and a smile. Colours are beautiful. Sometimes you just need to scream. Likewise sometimes you just need to go and lie on the field and cloud watch. Every small thing on his earth like a flower in bloom is a miracle. Hugs are rare, and if you recieve them, you should count your lucky stars. If you arent being understood, rephrase. A smile and hearing thank you is the biggest reward you can imagine. I never thought i'd get so attached, but without sounding cheese galore, my class this year has completely shaped who i will be as a teacher and a parent. Theyve taught me patience, gratitude, understanding and are th funniest and bloody lovliest group of kids know. Theyve changed my outlook on everything. Thank you.

Redemption days

One day is both a popular best seller and a universal concept to which nobody is a stranger. That belief that there is one person, that you are symbiotic with, that you breathe a little easier with and whos heart fits neatly alongside your own. But I've always wondered how One day, one person, one kiss, and one song can change your life. Walking into a pub at a particular time, taking a random flight somewhere or knowing when you need to walk away to protect yourself are things that could potentially completely change the course of your life. As much as i hate to admit this, i think everything happens for a reason, to teach you a lesson and prepare you for what will come tomorrow. But take a minute and think of all the things you'd do if you only had one day to change everything. One day: I will not be a second fucking choice. I will have the strength to say no, and to realise you dont like me as much as you like my attention. I will not let you call the shots, dictate my feelings and look to you for validation. I will realise i love you but cant have you, and i will let myself be an inconsolable mess for one week, instead of holding on to a fraying strand of distant hope. I will not let you pick me up and throw me down as you please. I will listen to others who say i deserve more. I will start a book. Instead of writing 4 separate drafts and deleting every last one, i will have the conviction in my own abilities. I will stop thinking i know what is best all the time, because clearly the decisions i make dont always make my life any easier or better for that matter. Be more willing to accept the help when you need it, dont be so stubborn. I will surround myself with people who i love, and who equally love me back. I wont let people walk all over me and i will learn not to forgive so easily. I will drink and laugh more, stayout till 6am on a school night, and be more irresponsible because you only get one chance. I will ask my mother and father to make a list of advice theyd give, books they read and memories they have, and live more like them. Because really, they are the best people i know. Gracious, and so generous, they make and have made so many sacrifices, and yet still want more for us. They love each other as much as they did when they met, and still hold hands when they walk together. I want that. you only have as much time as is in One Day. Look at the clock. Change your life in 24 hours.

I said that's fine but you're the only one that knows i lied.

Missing things, places, and people seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Its not that I'm never content, for the most part I'm happy With my lot. However it strikes me, as it would most people, that you never know what you had until its gone. I miss uni - days spent on the beach, cheer, Random trips to tesco to make nachos, Atlantis and the subsequent attendance to 9am Thursday lectures till in the fancy dress from the night before. I miss the people, the banter, the sea air and the time. Should have been in the library but chose to sleep till 4. I miss cosmos, the dirty locals, and full English breakfasts for £2.95 I miss when it used to be easy with some people and now it feels like a chore. I miss the 90s- scrunchies, saved by the bell, babysitters club, pogz, cheetos, spice girls, mood rings, animal ark books, when everything was simpler. I miss the days where i wasnt thinking of you and when i was oblivious to the who and what you are. Lets go back to finger painting and eating cheesestrinsgs. Everything was better then.