I want to be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.

I should have known today was going to be awful when at 9.38am I was in floods of tears crying at One Tree Hill. In my defence, it was a particularly emotional episode but it certainly set the precedent for the rest of the day.  This was not helped when I was sat in Kurt Gieger, wearing ripped converse, winter print leggings, bed hair and smudgy makeup, with the shop assistants glaring at me like I was something unimaginable which they had stepped their Carvella shoes in.

I have never been made more aware of those little things that really irritate me, however ridiculous. 

Bear in mind that this list is far from complete.

1. there is a distinct lack of ginger specific shampoos

2. No spoons fit Petit Filous 

3. People who sit next to you on an empty train

4. Crisps/chocolate over packaging, DID I PAY FOR A BAG OF AIR?

5. douchebags who don't say thank you when you hold a door/ allow them to pass. Manner's cost nothing.

6.Trending topics on twitter over 'Beliebers' or 'Directioners' I don't care if 'Bieber has swag' or 1D have got that One Thing' 

7. People who 'share' their photos on facebook

8. the words, Bruh, ting, and peng. Just no

9.People who text you first, read your message, and don't reply. what on earth was the point?!

10. mothers who can't control their children.

11. 'i love my boyfriend sooo muuuuccchh' status's. I actually did a little sick in my mouth.

12. People who tell me to eat my vegetables. I'm 22 and I don't like peas, why is this an issue!?

13. '3 sugars in your tea, aren't you sweet enough' 

14. when i'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

15. men. 

BLEURGH.

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.” ― Candace Bushnell, 

Sex and the City. 

I've said it before, and I will say it again. I cannot live with men, I cannot live without them. They literally drive me insane; from the moaning about how often I want to watch 90210, to the despair at my purchases of another pair of shoes, I cannot STAND them. I hate the way they leave the toilet seat up, the way they rev their engines on purpose and when they complain about needing a shave when really they just thought their stubble made them look more attractive than they really are. 

I also hate the way they lie. My personal favourite is when they say. ' I didn't want to hurt you'  that one really makes me laugh.  Other diamonds include 'I thought you knew that already' 'I don't even know that girl' ' No,  I didn't steal your moisturizer/straighteners/tenner on the side'  The best one however, is when they say nothing at all.

With girls, you know exactly what you're going to get. We get moody for a 5 days a month, we like pretty things, Jake Gyllenhaal and chocolate. We are simple. We will complain about needing to go to the gym, but like for you to say ' of course you don't, you look beautiful the way you are'  We will always want to go shopping, we will always feel better with a tan, and we will always need another red nail varnish. If we say 'I'm fine'  it's pretty obvious we're anything but. If we get changed about fifty times before a night out it's because we feel fat. We go to the bathroom in pairs or groups because it gives us a chance to multitask- peeing and bitching/talking about boys. 

So this thought suddenly struck me. My friends have a sixth sense when it comes knowing what to say. They'll tell me when I'm wrong, and they can make me laugh until I can't breathe. They always have my back, don't spread rumours and text me if they hear a song that they think I'd like, or when Topshop is having a mid season sale. They love me for my faults and through my mistakes, to which there is a long list. If you're called Vicky you'll also give me a ridiculous amount of abuse, attend gigs and introduce me to Krispy Kremes, to which I am eternally grateful.

Who needs men when you have the girls? I'm basically a non practising lesbian. Proud of it too. 

All i want is the taste your lips allow

Here is me being selfish. This is my bucket list. It's not complete, but here it goes. Credit to my beautiful  friend Vicky for encouraging me to blatently steal her idea.

I want to get married and have four kids at a relatively young age, because I want as much time with them as my time on Earth allows. I want my children to talk to me about anything, and never feel unloved, unwanted or uninspired.I want them to see their parents as their best friends but also as untouchable and strong, like nothing could stand in their way. I want to pass down my jewelry to them so they have something to remember me by, whether it be my charm bracelets, Pat Butcher earrings or rings. I want to keep a box of letters my first love wrote me, so I can show my children that at sixteen you're not too young to be in love, whatever anyone says,.  I want to live abroad for a year, immerse myself in their way of life, their culture and the energy of a new place. I want to be fully fluent in Spanish and sign language so I can always ask for a vodka in three languages, so that I always have a back up plan. I want to volunteer in an orphange or school in Thailand or Africa to change a child's life and see their face light up when they realise they can strive to be more. I want to be able to eat with chopsticks, so I don't look like an idiot when I have to use a knife and fork. I want a walk in wardrobe, and a colour coded shoe cupboard so I feel like I'm in Topshop in my own home. I want to read every work of Shakespeare so I can keep faith and fully understand the human capacity for hate, envy, jealousy, inadequacy, fear, desparation, compassion, empathy and love which has no limits. I want to skydive, so I can feel like I'm going to fall forever, and feel the relief when the parachute is freed. I want to be on a jury which helps convict somebody who deserves to die behind bars. I want to learn to play my guitar, so that one day i can play around a campfire under the stars. I want to run a marathon just because I was told by my surgeon I would never be able to, following my operation.  I want to be a teacher so that I can save a life, help a child who is struggling to fit in, to find themselves, and if I'm as half as good at my job as my parents are, that will be a bonus. I want to be able to pull of an Agyness Deyn haircut, or at least have the balls to get it cut in the first place. I want to start saving at least one hundred pounds of my wages every month and put it into savings. I want to be able to eat alphabetti spaghetti and play Countdown with the letters without fearing someone watching and laughing. I want to get a tattoo of something meaningful, so that whenever I look at it it reminds me why I chose it in the first place. I want to pass my driving test so I can go on roadtrips, singing cringey songs on the radio with my favourite girls. I want to be able to wear heels without feeling like a rugby player called Steve in drag. I want to be the best version of myself, because I owe it not only to others, but to myself, I owe it to myself to fulfil my potential and chase my dreams, not the competition.

Most of all, I want this. I want to make a difference, love, and be loved in return.

I want to believe in it all.