I Was Here

I want to leave my footprints on the sands of time, know there was something that, and something that I left behind. When I leave this world, I leave no regrets. Leave something to remember, so they won't forget.
I was hereI lived, I lovedI was here

Beyonce.






As women, we are scientifically programmed to pay more attention to our flaws than our positive attributes.God knows I'm guilty of it. Every morning I look in the mirror to put my makeup on and i automatically find myself staring  with intense anger at the things I cannot stand about myself.
I hate my red hair, i don't like my body from the waist down, and i'm not a fan of my square jaw. And those are just a few; i could go on for a while.

 One lunchtime in the staffroom, a group of 6 women i work with were talking about this very subject, and so we decided to name one thing we would change about ourselves  if we could, and one thing we loved. The responses were staggering, 'i hate my stomach, i would cut it off if i wouldn't die from blood loss' 'my stretchmarks make me feel physically sick when i see them' ' my boobs are too big for my body'. The women concerned were all between 20 and mid forties, our self esteem doesn't improve with age, just our ways of adapting and hiding our insecurity does. However, not surprising was every negative discussed was a physical attribute, and we all struggled to find something we wouldn't change.

It's said endlessly, the pressure females face these days is overwhelming. I'm 22, i couldn't imagine being 14, 15, 16 and feeling body confident in this day and age. The trouble is, we've placed perceived beauty as a priority higher than intelligence, humour, contentment. We aspire to have the face of Megan Fox, and the body of Rosie Huntington Whitley. We watch programmes like TOWIE where plastic surgery, veneers and wearing fake eyelashes to bed is normal. How is it normal? Just how? We pour over magazines for diet tips, we buy slimming underwear, and we use blemish balm creams to eliminate any inconsistencies on our skin. Because, let's face it, we all want to feel attractive.

I'm not bashing it, I'm really not. I love makeup, my benefit blusher is practically my best friend, I like my wonderbra and Kurt Gieger shoes and I'm a ginger who isn't adverse to a bit of fake tan.  My point is this. These women shouldn't be your role models.  Fridha Kahlo, Jodie Picoult, Emily Pankhurst, Sophia Bush, are all women I look up to.Google them.

We're all so quick as women to bitch about other girls, and to an extent it's natural, therapeutic even. But we have to remember, we're already at a disadvantage, we still earn less then men, we aren't taken seriously in certain professions, and  we constantly have to balance being sexy, funny, serious, and cute. We need to bloody stick together instead of being so quick to judge. Starting with ourselves, concentrate on our positives.


You shouldn't have to alter who you are to be content. Like i said earlier there are things about myself I'd change. But there are things I've learned to like. I like my freckles, I like my eyes. I'm loyal, honest and determined, I would do anything for the people I care about. My body might be far from perfect, but it lets my run around after my godson, dance like an idiot, hug someone who needs it. I especially like my left foot, it has a tattoo written in my dads handwriting, which reads 'no less than the trees and the stars' from Desiderata. The full line of the poem is

'You are a child of the universe. No less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here'

There are people in this world that love you exactly how you are, nothing more, nothing less.


I repeat. You have a right to be here.