"i believe in pink, i believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. i believe in kissing, kissing alot. i believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. i believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. i believe that tomorrow is another day & i believe in miracles" -Audrey Hepburn
When I was ten my pastimes included pretending to be a member of S Club 7 (always Rachel, if only for names-sake) climbing trees, playing sport and running away from boys because they had germs. My dad was the only man who wasn't icky, when I was on his shoulders, I felt like I could fly. When I was sixteen my priorities had changed, it was all about dreams of being an actress, a singer or an athlete, my life revolved around Topshop, magazines, and falling in love. Aged sixteen to eighteen I got my wish, my apparent fairytale and I genuinly believe, you will never love anybody as much as your first love; not even your husband. Its the immensity and intensity which makes it so addictive, it's like you can't breathe, like you're going to burst. It's funny how people say you're not old enough to be in love at that age, that you don't know what love is, maybe they're the ones who don't have a clue.
My point is, why at 21 should I have to be so serious, so focussed on the future? I miss the days spent on my friend's trampoline, taking photos, being dorky and baking cupcakes. I miss the evenings spent at the park, with friends, rugs, picnics, cheap beer, music and playing 40/40. At sixteen my biggest worries were things like ' How should I get my hair cut?' or 'What if I don't win this race?' I miss not having to think about the future, now every decision I make influences it. I have to think how this will affect me six months in advance when making any choice.
I'm constantly asked the dreaded question of 'How's your love life' and when I reply that I'm single and happy that way, why do people have to look so shocked? Yes, I am aware that when they were my age, they had settled down with children, but really, have they never embraced 'Sex and the City'? It's okay for me to not want the responsibility of a stable boyfriend, I kind of want to find out who I am before getting to know anybody else. I look forward to evenings with the girls, either spent facebook stalking hot men ( of which I am probably needing counsel for my addicition) or perving on them in bars.Why should i be defined by 'my other half' or lack of it?
I both envy and admire people who chose not to go to University, and went straight into work. I know it's the recession, but my (negative numbers) bank balance is getting ridiculous. Nobody prepares you at eighteen years old for the cost of living, you grow up with mum's cooking, dad's taxi service and brother's last twenty quid for a night out. These days I have bills to pay, rent due and food to buy -unless of course I want to live off of cuppa soups and boil in a bag rice for the next 6 months.
Hell, at 21 years old there are a lot of things I am sure of. My career- primary teaching. How many kids I want, (4, two boys two girls), who I want to marry - Jake Gyllenhaal, Zac Efron, Ryan Reynolds, The curly haired kid out of One Direction. But there are so many other things I am undecided on, much like I was when I was sixteen, and that is the way it should be. We have to be vigilant in protecting the opportunities we are presented with, we need to embrace the ones which offer the promise of laughter, of seeing the magic in the world. Because the world, doesnt owe us anything. Now is the time to make mistakes, to be bold, to change your mind a million times. Move to Australia for a year, dye your hair a new colour, kiss that boy, buy those Louboutins. You only live once, and the life is measured not by the amount of breaths you take, but by the amount of moments that take your breath away.
Grasp any oppourtunity which comes your way, take it, embrace it, and dont regret it. Never regret anything you have done, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.
