And Never Stop for Anyone.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing with this teaching malarky. It's not that it's not the right thing, just I don't know it's the right thing, right now.

I've grown up with two teachers as parents, my brother was going to be an English teacher, and now I'm doing my PGCE, so you could say it's in the blood. I've worked in schools since I was sixteen, I've made displays, marked work, taken after school clubs and sat in endless assemblies. I love working with kids, their outlook on life is exactly how we should be; they make friends in a matter of seconds, cry when they're upset and are excited by even the simplest things. I love seeing their face when they 'get' something, they light up, they're proud of themselves and what they have achieved, and knowing I have played a part in that is the best feeling in the world.

 But this is the thing. I don't feel ready. I went straight from my A-Levels, into my degree and then into an (almost) dream job in a Year One classroom. So I've never had that year where you work in Topshop during the day, and as bar staff at night for 6 months whilst planning your visa application. I want to travel the world,  to see Thailand, Africa, Australia and Fiji. I want to lose my passport, and end up in an embassy, to experience a Full Moon Party and not know how I got home. There are so many places and people I want to see and do. I feel at 22, this is the age where I should be doing these things.

 I know teaching is what I want to do, and I'm lucky to be on such a competitive course at an amazing uni. I'm fully aware of how selfish I sound. I adore the school I've been placed at, my little Year 3 class are some of the funniest kids I have ever met, and teaching them is an absolute joy. I genuinely don't mind the 6am alarm (and I never thought I'd say that, trust me, I'm not a morning person) because they're completely worth it.  I think it's just staring at the essays I have yet to write, the lesson plans that need doing and the never ending pile of assessments and marking which scare me.

It's the pressure I hate.

But in the end the benefits outweigh the negatives, the things that are worth doing are the things that require the most sacrifices. It's one year. That's it.