It's Like You Smiled And Shook My Hand And Said 'Hey, I'm About to Screw You Over. Big Time'

I am the first to joke about gingers. I was blessed with dark red hair which, in summer, goes slowly blonder, until it reaches the inevitable 'strawberry blonde' stage. Which is basically a lighter shade of ginger, for those who are still in denial.

Over the years, I have recieved the odd comments; South Park I blame you for giving the impression that ginger's 'Have No Soul'. I've had 'Does the carpet match the drapes?' but on the whole, I can't say I've ever really faced much prejudice. I think this is because I make jokes at myself, I laugh (and cry) at my Casper-esque translucent skin, so people realise I'm actually quite comfortable with embracing my natural hair colour and everything that goes with it. The fashion world is going (ginger) nuts for redheads. Gone are the days where the mannequins in Topshops were only blonde or brunette. Nicola Roberts and Christina Hendricks have paved the way in terms of role models, and being a redhead is claimed to be 'Big for 2011' by various fashion magazines.

It got me wondering, that as modern and open minded individuals who amongst other achievements; campaign for gay rights, work to prevent child and teen suicide rates, have the first black US president in history, and generally claim to love everyone, why do we still sterotype and decide who an individual is, purely on first sight?

I will admit, I'm guilty of this, but then again, so are you, so is everyone. My best friend is gorgeous; a doppeldanger for Jessie J and is blessed with a figure with all sorts of  right curvy goings on. Yet people associate her with her boobs and forget that she got 3 As and a B at Alevel and is at Cardiff University studying English Literature and ,is one of the strongest, brave and incredible people I know. People who don't know her say 'Oh the girl with the boobs, I bet she's well up herself?' and I want to slap them. But yet, look around. It happens everywhere. A quiet guy with glasses is 'a geek,' a girl who likes rock music and not Justin Bieber is 'an emo' a girl who has had a lot of sexual partners is a 'slut'. Perhaps, just PERHAPS, she has embraced Sex and the City and maybe, just MAYBE she likes sex. Possibly, I mean, I don't know.

 Have you noticed all stereotypes are negative? You'll never hear a girl go, that girl's blonde, she must be intelligent, self assured, cultured and content with life.

So, what exactly does our stereotyping achieve? It serves as an excuse, we do it because everyone does, and if you think about it, how ridiculous is that? Act your age and embrace the differences in life. It makes small people feel bigger for all the wrong reasons, its toxic and stereotypes feed off of the negative. Lose the labels and talk to somebody you wouldn't normally approach, you could make a friend for life. Take the time to talk to the girl who you perceieve to be a 'loner' , have you ever thought about the fact she might just be 'lonely' instead? Be  more respectful, embrace people's imperfections, their likes and dislikes, their hair colour, clothing choice and if nesseccary, their tattoos on their face. What have you got to lose? Or are you just afraid?

Think about it. We are 6 Billion souls, but we all share the same world and the same dream. We want to be loved for who we are, not judged for who we are perceived to be.

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends.

Just for a second.


Recently when dicussing a Disney themed night out with my housemates, it was suggested that along with some friends, we went as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. I was thinking I'd go as Dopey or Sleepy, both of which I feel sum me up quite well. However, my housemates unaminously decided that I should in fact be Grumpy. 'Rach, you are the grumpiest person ever.' they told me. Yes, I may be Grumpy and short tempered, but I am also extremely good at faking my own happiness. I smile, I laugh and I joke and pretend that I'm happy.

 It got me thinking. Why do we feel the need to cover up how we are truly feeling? Why do we constantly need to have this self preservation driving force to our lives? It's as if we feel that if we let somebody close, if we trust that person with our true feelings,then we are exposing ourselves as a fake, a phoney. How is this the case, when really we are presenting a fake account of our own lives when we cannot be honest with how we are feeling to the people who love and care about us most.

 As modern humans we lie, we cheat, we gossip and accuse. We work through our tangled lives by pretending and believing lies, but when we realise we've been lied to, hypocritically, we become upset and angry. Yet most of us lie once a day, when we're asked the seemingly ephemeral question of 'Are you okay?' We never choose to say, 'Actually, no, I'm not okay' Instead we choose to hide our feelings and keep them to ourselves, as if our feelings of bitterness, sadness, anger or desperation may be toxic for someone we confide in. Our true feelings are secrets, preserved and kept hidden for ourselves, a selfish act which we convince ourselves that we commit for the good of everybody else.Perhaps it's time to be honest not only with the people around us, but with ourselves.

Take a deep breath, stop hiding and say it. 'I'm not okay. I could use a little help.' Funnily enough, the person you say it too, may just turn around and say, 'You know what? Me too.'

Today Was a Fairytale

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just not facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes... all you need is one. Peyton Sawyer- One Tree Hill

I'm the first to admit that I am cynical about love. I blame Disney and One Tree Hill on my inability to feel that there is any relationship close to what I see on the big screen. Yes, i am embarassed to admit it, but I used to have the BIGGEST crushes on Prince Eric from the Little Mermaid and Aladdin. I am fully aware of the fact that they animated, and therefore not plausible for a relationship, but the thing about them that was so endearing, was the intensity of their relationship and feelings.

Valentines Day is a prime example of my cynicism. Why should there be one day a year where you express how you feel? Surely if you like/love someone, they should know everyday? I mean, I guess it's special, you get to go for a meal or go on an exciting date. For me, Valentines Day should be a Chinese in bed with a best friend, a boyfriend or your mum. Why should Valentines Day be dedicated to purely romantic love? My best friends and family are the people I love most. They are the people that push me to be better, to strive to be the best version of myself and who inspire me.

Dont get me wrong, I'd love to have a movie like relationship. Give me Jake Gyllenhaal, Zac Efron, Rob Pattinson, anyday and I'd play the perfect girlfriend. But that's so far from the truth, no relationship is perfect. I also feel like I only date people if I feel like it could go somewhere, whats the point otherwise? I know its shallow, but I have a checklist. A boy who can sing/play piano/guitar, someone who can make me laugh when I'm in a mood (it's difficult..trust me) and a boy who has manners, you dont have to fit the bill exactly, if you claim one of those attributes i'm a fan.

As the great Marilyn Monroe said ' "I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.'

So until, Zac Efron or the perfect man from above asks me out... my only romance is with my friends, and myself. Oh..and the chinese in bed of course.

Dear Younger Self

Dear Younger Self,

It's you, well your 21 year old self from the future and I wish to implore some valuable knowledge onto you. Take my advice, who knows, things may turn out differently.

The girl who pretends to be your best friend from the age of 11, at 17 will have sex with your boyfriend of 2 and a half years for 6 months. Forgive her earlier than 20 years old. She went through a lot with him. So did you.

At 20 years old, you will not be over the above boyfriend. At 21,  after a long hard look at the past you will be.

The teacher who inspired you most will end up becoming one of your best friends. On Christmas Eve 2010 his wife will ask you to be a godmother to their first born child.  You WILL cry.

Those girls that called you fat//ugly/twat , blocked your way through corridors,spread rumours about you, and made you ask to leave 6th form will later apologise. Accept it and move on, they clearly had an awful self esteem themselves.

At 14 years old. you will cut your waist length hair to your shoulders. DON'T do it. You will look like an idiot, and everyone will exclaim 'WHAT have you done to your hair?'

At 16 when you tell your mum you're dying your hair white blonde, relax, take a breath and dont do it. You will look like an idiot and have horrific roots. You will learn to love being ginge.


Your History A level teacher will tell you you will get a C. Don't hate her, but still make her teaching you a misery. You win because you get to see her face on results day when you only dropped 15 marks over 2 years and you got an A.

Your male best friend will tell you he loves you. You tell him you don't feel the same. You do. Don't wait for the day before he leaves for University to tell him. You will lose him. Say I love you too back. Straight away.
Otherwise it will become your single biggest regret in life.


On your 21st birthday you will get horribly drunk and almost vomit over everyone when you have to get a 9am train to Cardiff the next day. Drink sensibly.

Similarly, those four 9% cans of cider and then a whole jug of snakebite to yourself  on a cheerleading isn't a good idea. At 21, you should probably be able to handle your drink.

Take more photos of people who are special to you. Your grandfather will have a brain haemorraghe and almost die. He makes a full recovery, but it scares you to death. Your grandmother isn't so lucky, she dies just after Christmas of 2010 and your world collapses as you feel like you could have done more. You couldnt. She knew you loved her.

Don't blame yourself for everything- There are things in the world above your control. You can't change/solve everything, so don't have a breakdown when you find yourself helpless. Ask for help.

Take a chance on everything.

Unwritten Rules, Thoughts and Addictions of a 20-something.

                                                                       Oh So True.

Take a riskIf you think about it, you grow up feeling like you're your most free in your teenage years. ' oh I'm in my twenties, I have to be responsible.' Don't make me laugh. Do something fun, take the first flight out of an airport for a weekend, go skinny dipping, get a new peircing. Or do something you've always wanted to, like skydiving, take up photography, buy a Vivienne Westwood dress. You might not have the face or body of Emily Didonato, but you'll have her confidence if you do something that will make you happy.

You are never too old for a celebrity crushGone are the days where I covered literally every wall and part of my ceiling in Busted posters, but I still remember the excitement of seeing them on SMTV and buying their records. I admit it, I go to the cinema just to perve on Jake Gyllenhaal or James Franco, I have a One Direction poster, I buy magazines if they have Robert Pattinson  or Zac Efron on the cover,...Dont feel bad, just use the excuse of ' Every magazine I buy is helping the economy.' That's what I do anyway.

Procrastination will become an art formAnything that takes away time spent on an essay/report/presentation is good. Even cleaning. I regularly dust, hoover and rearrange my room in order to avoid work. Setting up games of Scrabble, taking a nap, watching a dvd boxset, are all good excuses. The most inventive excuse I've heard was...'I left my favourite top at home, so i'm driving home to get it.' Home was two hours away, and they were going back that weekend anyway. Inspired.

Addicition is not your friendI recently rediscovered my love for chocolate oranges. I will resemble one if I eat any more. I can safely say most 20 somethings will crave or be addicted to the following things at some point : chocolate, sleep, kettle chips, tea, coffee, chips, take aways, cigarettes, wine. But remember the wise wise  man who said 'Everything in moderation', because you can decide for yourself what 'moderation' is..
 Delightful.

You will never have enough money. Ever. Even if you win the lotteryI am currently lusting after the following:
The whole of Topshop/Jack Wills
The entire Beatles' collection on iTunes
A round the world trip
A gym membership (even my uni gym is too expensive, for me sob sob sob)

There will always be things you want but can't afford. Life sucks like that. Just cut out pictures of the things you want, make a scrapbook and pretend you own them. Simples.


(Some) Socially Unacceptable things will now become acceptableIts okay to:
Embarass your friend in front of the bloke she fancies
Being equally mortified if your friend does the above to you.
Being an awful drunk, dancing on tables, being taken home at 10pm, telling strangers you love them
Leaving your social boundaries at home.
Dreaming about what your kids will look like with celebrities and other hot men
Naming a magazine as your Bible


And things that never willPassing on  a secret you've been sworn not to tell
Spreading gossip you know isn't true


That's all folks. My brain is mashed.

Be Cheerful- Strive To Be Happy

"i believe in pink, i believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. i believe in kissing, kissing alot. i believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. i believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. i believe that tomorrow is another day & i believe in miracles" -Audrey Hepburn

If the past six months have taught me anything, its to seize any oppourtunity which has the possibility of making you happy. I am 21 years old. Across the globe I am old enough to get married, have children, drink alcohol, buy a house or a scratchcard and so I am treated as an adult with responsibilities, with expectations and goals.  I am an adult, but I am certainly not an 'adult', or at least I don't think so.
When I was ten my pastimes included pretending to be a member of S Club 7 (always Rachel, if only for names-sake) climbing trees, playing sport and running away from boys because they had germs. My dad was the only man who wasn't icky, when I was on his shoulders, I felt like I could fly. When I was sixteen my priorities had changed, it was all about dreams of being an actress, a singer or an athlete, my life revolved around Topshop, magazines, and falling in love. Aged sixteen to eighteen I got my wish, my apparent fairytale and I genuinly believe, you will never love anybody as much as your first love; not even your husband. Its the immensity and intensity which makes it so addictive, it's like you can't breathe, like you're going to burst. It's funny how people say you're not old enough to be in love at that age, that you don't know what love is, maybe they're the ones who don't have a clue.
My point is, why at 21 should I have to be so serious, so focussed on the future? I miss the days spent on my friend's trampoline, taking photos, being dorky and baking cupcakes. I miss the evenings spent at the park, with friends, rugs, picnics, cheap beer, music and playing 40/40. At sixteen my biggest worries were things like ' How should I get my hair cut?' or 'What if I don't win this race?' I miss not having to think about the future, now every decision I make influences it. I have to think how this will affect me six months in advance when making any choice.

I'm constantly asked the dreaded question of 'How's your love life' and when I reply that I'm single and happy that way, why do people have to look so shocked? Yes, I am aware that when they were my age, they had settled down with children, but really, have they never embraced 'Sex and the City'? It's okay for me to not want the responsibility of a stable boyfriend, I kind of want to find out who I am before getting to know anybody else. I look forward to evenings with the girls, either spent facebook stalking hot men ( of which I am probably needing counsel for my addicition) or perving on them in bars.Why should i be defined by 'my other half' or lack of it?

I both envy and admire people who chose not to go to University, and went straight into work. I know it's the recession, but my (negative numbers) bank balance is getting ridiculous. Nobody prepares you at eighteen years old for the cost of living, you grow up with mum's cooking, dad's taxi service and brother's last twenty quid for a night out. These days I have bills to pay, rent due and food to buy -unless of course I want to live off of cuppa soups and boil in a bag rice for the next 6 months.

Hell, at 21 years old there are a lot of things I am sure of. My career- primary teaching. How many kids I want, (4, two boys two girls), who I want to marry - Jake Gyllenhaal, Zac Efron, Ryan Reynolds, The curly haired kid out of One Direction. But there are so many other things I am undecided on, much like I was when I was sixteen, and that is the way it should be. We have to be vigilant in protecting the opportunities we are presented with, we need to embrace the ones which offer the promise of laughter, of seeing the magic in the world. Because the world, doesnt owe us anything. Now is the time to make mistakes, to be bold, to change your mind a million times. Move to Australia for a year, dye your hair a new colour, kiss that boy, buy those Louboutins. You only live once, and the life is measured not by the amount of breaths you take, but by the amount of moments that take your breath away.

Grasp any oppourtunity which comes your way, take it, embrace it, and dont regret it. Never regret anything you have done, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

2011- The Year of Responsibility

So, this Christmas, like most, I've eaten far too much chocolate, drunk far too much wine and overindulged in yorkshire puddings. As New Year approaches , I've decided to make a few changes. These include: only eat brown carbs, exercise more and to try and not straighten my hair everyday.  This is because on Christmas Eve 2010, some rather lovely people decided to ask me to be their child's godmother. I am, now therefore, a role model to a 7month old child who I rather adore. This is problematic.

Some of my friends are either in a serious relationship, getting married or at least have a serious job.  I have...none of these things at 21 years old. I live in a student house, and am in the last 6 months of my degree, doing a dissertation on a subject I was previously passion about (note the previously) and will leave university in roughly £22 grand in debt.  I might add, my Sports degree, has no relevance to my desired career of Primary Teaching... Fantastic.

 So my plan is this. I am going to channel Bridget Jones and find a 'nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts' It would probably help if most of the men i fancy didn't embody most of these characteristics.

I will eat healthily, and give up my student days of a diet consisting of Papa Johns, Chinese and Indian takeaways, and will eat my vegetables, so my godchild  can never say ' If your vegetables are so important, why do you never eat them Rachel?'  and I will at least attempt to limit my cravings for pik 'n' mix to once a month.

I will try to drink responsibly at Cheerleading socials and on nights out in general- i dont feel the need to elaborate on this one.

I will also resist the temptations of the following: hair straighteners, going to the beach,Topshop, The OC/One Tree Hill when i have v.important work to do, and revelling in socially awkward moments.  Actually scrap that, those are some unrealistic goals for a student who only has 5 hours of lectures per week, at least the ones about eating heathily and being happy are  achievable.
Basically, I'm going to try to be the best Godparent i can be, because he is the most perfect little boy. Here's to you little man, you're going to at least make me attempt to be a better person, and you're not even a year old.

And if i fail at that, I can at least try to claim the prestigous role of the  'cool' one. If that fails...i'll just bribe him with presents. And beer.

Amazing.